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Emotional Eater?

2/23/09

Emotional Eater?

The other day I stepped on the scale and gained a number of pounds that I rather not post. It has occurred to me that I have become an emotional eater. OK - Scratch that, I just figured out that I'm an emotional eater. I really had no idea. I'm past the point of people thinking that I just had a baby. Yes, and that was 6 months ago. Most of the time I can't escape the stress. It's not just my own stress that I carry. I'm a wife so I have my husband's stress and worry. I'm a business owner so I have the stress of cpsia and how to survive. I'm a mother and I carry the stress of my children with me. There is more that I carry but those three departments are my most emotional. I have gotten some good suggestions on how to deal with emotional eating. Someone told me that I should journal about what's going on and what I'm eating. I thought about this today and I think that would be difficult. I would always have a pen in hand if I did that. I think it is a good idea but I have to find a way to deal with it because I can't solve it all. I can't make my husband stop stressing. I can't control the cpsia. Most importantly I can't control the situation with my eldest child. She plagues me the most and is intertwined with a number of other family members. It's very complex and complicated and as much as I try to let it all go it's not realistic.
This is where a nice sweet cold Big Red or Tea come in handy. Maybe a bag of chips for mindless munching and yes I've tried the gum. The gum just loses taste and I chew so hard that it makes my jaw hurt after a while. I am a non smoker now and have been for years. I didn't substitute food for cigarettes, they just became too much trouble. It's hard to preach to your kids not to light up when you have a cigarette in your mouth. Let's not forget about the smell. I couldn't be around my babies smelling like that and having them breath it in from my clothes.
I'm also not necessarily a food lover. I don't eat because I'm so in love with food. I don't fully understand it yet. I can't possibly be the only one out there with this problem. I've heard lots of tricks like drink water before your meals so you don't eat as much. Oh and eat 5 small meals a day! These are all nice ideas but I'm the last person on my list. I have so many people to care for it's hard to remember all these little tricks.
At meal time I cook serve my kids and then feed the baby and try to eat at the same time. My husband bathes the baby and then I rush through the rest of my meal so I can get the toddler and baby dressed. The after hours is my down time. I don't want to think I just want to watch mindless television. I don't want to think about the pressures. I pray every single day for strength. I now have a walking routine and the kids are involved too. It helps but I would love some down time away from every one.
My husband was complaining about the drive home this evening and I thought "WOW you got to sit in the car by yourself!" I know my family would help if they could but they all have their own lives and busy schedules too. I'm not sure what to do but I'm just glad that I'm finally aware of what's happening to me. I told my friend today as we were walking the track, "there's a skinny *itch inside here!" lol
Is it awareness or just one more thing to add to the stress pile?

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