Don't Forget the Children! - Step 6 #TheDigitalMomHandbook

While designing an online class and trying to meet a deadline I watched myself fall into a downward spiral. The entire process only took about 7 days. It started out small enough, staying up a little later than usual, not getting up to get my morning mile in and a lot more online activity. While researching for the class I found more and more unanswered questions and more and more material to cover.

I had to meet a deadline! I was grabbing whatever I could to eat, if I got hungry! No food journals updated, I stopped taking all of my vitamins and Star Bucks became my new BFF. The caffeine was flowing heavily and it cost me $5 every time I went to get a coffee. Some days I hit that place twice! What's the big deal? I'm pretty sure I went through $50 in less than 7 days on coffee alone. All of this is so OUT of character for me. When I came across Step 6 of this book I thought to myself, Dont' Forget the Children! Seriously? YES!!!!!! My poor babies were put off time after time. "Mom, come see this!" my reply, "Give me 5 more minutes I have to finish this thought..I have to finish reading this one paragraph...I have to finish typing this phrase....I'm trying to get this syllabus done!" I would snap. Oh geez. I would work and work on this project running late nearly every where I went. It was my biggest fear that I would leave one of the kids somewhere and forget to pick one of them up or something. Thankfully that didn't happen.

There wasn't any help either because my family was out of town, my husband was out of town and my close friends were having issues of their own. Each day I would get a little less sleep, a little more snappy, and the only thing that kept me even close to any type of normalcy was Crossfit. But eventually I was talking myself into hitting the gym! WHOA!!!! What was happening to me? Who was I turning into and is it worth it? On the one hand my brain was getting fed. I felt fantastic to be back in my intellectual element but at the same time my health was drowning. My house was a mess, the laundry was not getting done and I was invisibly chained to this computer. There was no balance.

That is what Step 6 is about, finding your balance. I finished my project right in the nick of time, about 1:30am this morning to be exactly. I woke up four hours later and ran 4 miles up and down a bridge, went to a funeral and then went to dinner with friends. It feels good to be done with the project and now I sit and wait to see what happens. In the meantime I'm recapturing my health! I'm getting back on track and if I do get the job I need to find balance. I'm not eager for this last week to become my life. I don't want to be that kind of Mom this I know for sure.


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